Can Someone with a Pattern of Abandonment and Reemergence Change?
The question of whether someone can truly change when there is a pattern of abandonment and reemergence is a complex one. While it's generally true that change is possible, it's not always a straightforward process. Individuals who exhibit such behavior are often deeply rooted in their patterns and can present significant challenges to those around them.
Understanding Behavior Patterns
From my experience, someone who consistently discards relationships and then reemerges later, positioning themselves as the victim, is often indicative of certain psychological issues. This behavior can range from mild emotional games to extreme manipulation, suggesting a deep-seated issue such as narcissism. It is crucial to understand that such patterns are not just about losing and regaining interest but are rooted in underlying psychological needs and behaviors.
The Role of Therapy
For someone to change and break these patterns, intervention by a professional is often necessary. A therapist can play a pivotal role in identifying these behaviors and helping the individual understand and address their underlying issues. The process of change is a step-by-step journey, and the target for this journey is often attending therapy and engaging in regular sessions. Therapy can provide a safe space for individuals to explore their thoughts and behaviors, fostering self-awareness and personal growth.
Signs of Change in Therapy
A therapist will be able to gauge whether a patient is making progress and showing signs of change. One of the key indicators of change is when a patient begins to develop and communicate their own insight. Instead of just reacting to triggers or situations, they start to think about their actions and understand the impact they have on others. This development is a crucial step in breaking free from the cycle of abandonment and reemergence.
The Experience with a Narcissist
After five years of a relationship with a narcissist, it became evident that the behavior of discarding and reemerging is a repetitive pattern. This behavior isn't limited to romantic relationships but is a consistent pattern of treatment of all individuals they come into contact with. The narcissist uses manipulation and emotional games to control and manipulate their partners, often leading to deep emotional distress.
Their behavior is not just a one-off issue but a reflection of their core personality. For instance, they discard someone as if they are a piece of trash and then reappear, often using their emotional vulnerability as a way to manipulate the situation. This behavior is not just a game but a toxic cycle designed to assert power and control. It’s clear that individuals who engage in such behavior are harming themselves and others in the process.
Breaking the Cycle
To break the cycle, it’s often recommended to go no contact and maintain strict boundaries. This means blocking their phone number and email, and keeping documentation of any threatening messages or emails. If necessary, a restraining order can be obtained to protect oneself and any children involved from physical or psychological harm.
Conclusion
While some individuals can and do make profound changes, especially with the support of professional therapy, the journey is often challenging and requires significant effort. It's important to recognize the signs of toxic behavior and take steps to protect oneself from further emotional harm. If you or someone you know is in such a situation, consider reaching out for professional help and setting clear boundaries to protect your well-being.