When You Can't Handle It All: Caring for Aging Parents

As parents age, the need for proper care becomes more critical. Sometimes, the demands of caring for a senior family member exceed what the family can handle. But this doesn't mean you should struggle alone. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it's an act of love and responsibility.

Understanding the Need for Care

The level of care needed for an elderly family member can often be more intensive than what the family can provide, and not providing the necessary care can be considered a form of elder abuse. Medical professionals, such as geriatric care professionals, undergo extensive training to handle complex geriatric issues. Attempting to care for a parent on your own, out of a sense of obligation or guilt, can often lead to failure and negative health outcomes for the parent.

Initiating Professional Care

It is highly advisable to start seeking help early. Consult your family doctor or a local social worker organization for guidance on how to start. From personal experience, waiting can be disastrous. Planning and initiating care before it's absolutely necessary can lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.

Advantages of Early Care Initiation

Stress Reduction: Moving someone who needs care during an emergency is extremely stressful. Starting earlier gives the person time to acclimate to the idea, allowing for a more controlled and less panicked transition. Choice and Flexibility: Early planning ensures you have a choice in where your loved one lives. This can be closer to family, making visits more frequent and supportive. Proactive Care: Getting your loved one into the system early means care levels can be increased naturally without causing rushed or unhealthy emergencies. Even a simple senior community can offer benefits like a social network, which has been shown to improve overall well-being.

Family Dynamics and Caregiving

Engaging the whole family in the decision can be challenging. The transition is often met with mixed emotions. Some siblings find it hard to accept that their parents are no longer "invincible" and are aging. This leads to the realisation that one's own mortality is a difficult concept to accept.

Another issue, especially with illnesses like dementia, is that family members may not fully see the severity of the situation until they spend extended time with their parents. Many parents can present as "normal" for extended periods, but their condition will become apparent to siblings and children who spend significant time with them. Spouses may also struggle to accept the situation and might want to hide it out of fear of the unknown.

Important Considerations and Benefits

One major benefit of initiating care earlier is the potential to keep elderly couples together. In an emergency, it may be impossible for a couple to be co-located. Early planning ensures that if one spouse needs care, the other can visit more easily, reducing the strain and providing utmost support.

Furthermore, taking care of someone can be physically and emotionally demanding. A spouse caring for another spouse often results in both parties suffering from the stress and strain, greatly impacting their health and well-being.

In conclusion, initiating professional care for aging parents early on can lead to better health outcomes and a more structured transition. It's important to remember that seeking help is a form of love and responsibility. For those seeking assistance, there is help out there, and it should be used to care for your loved ones.