Why Do We Scream When Anger or Grief Overwhelms Us?
Have you ever found yourself yelling or screaming in moments of intense anger or sorrow? It's a common reaction, but it can be perplexing. This blog aims to explore the psychological and emotional reasons behind these outbursts, particularly focusing on the experiences of individuals with autism and trauma.
The Power of Unrelenting Emotions
Imagine a scenario where a boy makes a girl feel incredibly self-assured, leading to hours of emotional connection. However, when the girl finds herself alone, her relationship suddenly collapses, and she is blocked by the boy she trusts. This sudden change can be incredibly disorienting, as the girl is left questioning why such a shift occurs.
A personal narrative from K:
At the age of 10, K, a promising and outgoing child, heard the devastating news of her father's inappropriate actions towards her cousin sister. Poverty-stricken by this revelation, K initially kept silent to spare her mother's feelings. But, at the tender age of 11, K was subjected to rape by her father.
Without any knowledge or guidance on sexual education, K found herself isolated and without support. The trauma compounded, and K's life took a dark turn. Traumatic experiences often leave lasting emotional scars, and K learned to remain silent out of fear and despair.
Now, let's add another layer: K has autism. This
Understanding the Inner Turmoil of Screamers
For individuals with autism, these outbursts can be especially intense due to the difficulties in verbalizing emotions and understanding social cues. The quote from K affirms this:
‘Why the f are you still supporting special attention’; ‘What the hell is wrong with you’; ‘What the f is you with you’, and many others. These exclamations reveal the frustration and anguish of not being understood or validated.
The Trauma of Childhood
The story of K also highlights the profound impact of childhood trauma. She was subject to severe violations of her privacy and trust, leading to a profound sense of confusion and emotional pain. She learned that silence was the only means of escaping the abuse and protecting the people she loved. Over the years, this silence became a habit, and she found it challenging to express her true feelings.
The Deep Well of Emotional Pain
The underlying reason for screaming or crying when hurt deeply lies in the deep emotional well that is often filled with unprocessed trauma, fear, and anger. For K, the memories of abuse and the subsequent isolation are still potent, even years later. The smallest trigger can resurrect these painful emotions, leading to an explosive outburst.
Escaping the Silence
For K, as for many others, the journey toward healing and freedom from this control is a long and arduous one. It involves coming to terms with the past, addressing unprocessed emotions, and finding a way to express oneself without feeling silenced or invalidated.
Supporting Screamers
Understanding and supporting someone who screams during moments of intense emotion requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to listen. It's crucial to recognize that the scream is not a personal attack but a culmination of unexpressed feelings and hurt.
Conclusion
The act of screaming can serve as a powerful and raw expression of overwhelming emotions. For individuals with autism and those who have experienced trauma, these outbursts can be particularly intense and difficult to navigate. By understanding the psychological and emotional underpinnings of such reactions, we can provide the support needed for healing and growth.